Oh yeah...there's a blog, too.

Squeezing the Laundry In...

With no time to waste, our hero has just enough time to squeeze in some laundry. With only a couple of people here, it's been easy so far. The earth is going to explode, isn't it?

Where is everybody?

I'm like, all alone and junk. Weird...

The Laundry Visits Beth's House

It's dark and I'm doing the laundry

Not so long ago I swore that I would never again do the laundry at night. It appears that I have lied.

And I left my phone at home!!

This place is crowded as hell right now. It must be the nice weather. I would have hoped that the nice weather would have encouraged some other kind of activity in the people. They should all be on delightful evening strolls or taking the kids out for ice cream or some crap. Alas, they opted to do the laundry during my only spare moment of the week. I was lucky to score the last 3 remaining washers in the place. The prospect of getting dryers is looking grim.

Presently, Lorelei is engaged in a game of hide & seek with Becky. Lorelei's mother would like it very much if she would stop yelling. Becky's mother chimes in on occasion to give the appearance of also being a dispenser of childhood discipline, however, she just doesn't pursue it with the same gusto as Lorelei's mom. In fact, she's doing more to encourage the game with her camera phone than anything having to do with her kid's behavior. Naturally, Lorelei's mom has a problem with this. I just wish I hadn't set up shop at their counting base.

Someone take these people out for ice cream.

Stevo

"I don't got no numbers, so I can't call nobody anyway. And I can't pay no bail because rent is $545. It'll have to wait until you get your tax return." I'm trying to ignore the dramatic phone call, but this lady is pretty loud. It seems that someone is in jail and the daughter needs to get her act together. And grandma "don't need to worry about nothing because it's under control." She's "too sick, anyways." Our Laundromat Matriarch of the Day has brought along a baby, Esmeralda, her husband, and "Stevo." The husband was the first person I saw when I walked in. It really couldn't be helped. He's a man leaning on the folding table in front of the entrance. Weighing in at an estimated 300+ lbs, he greeted anyone who walked in with his ass. No, really. His athletic shorts are hanging somewhere just past halfway down his butt, followed by his underwear, giving the world a view of a side of him that I'd rather not see. I'd take a picture for your benefit, but Stevo is beside him facing the laundromat-- eying the other patrons with a psychotic grin that makes me wonder who he has chopped up in his freezer. Stevo is a young adult in what appears to be his late 20's. He may even be Esmeralda's father. He's farkin' creepy regardless. As the husband hikes mercifully hikes his shorts up and makes his way across the laundromat to watch his wife fold clothes, Stevo has a seat to clean his fingernails with a knife. He glances up occasionally to check out the scene. Flashing that unhinged grin, he gets back to work on his fingernails. As I load my dryer, the Matriarch summons Stevo to grab a couple of baskets of laundry. He grins slyly, looking around as he lumbers across the laundromat. As the quartet leaves, it dawns on me that I was prepared to rant about the obnoxiousness of the husband's ass hanging out everywhere. Instead, all I could really do was focus on how god damned creepy Stevo was. Stevo: A laundromat specter whose load is clearly unbalanced...

Here There Be The Potential For Dragons...

I find myself at the laundromat again this week following the loss of my last good pair of pants. A tragic lab tech accident involving black acrylic ink took out the only good pants I had left. So I'm at the laundromat washing new pants. It's tranquil, and I feel totally safe knowing the laundromat is being well protected. Our champion has appeared to guard us! There's a guy here that looks to be in his late 30's. His sweatpants are a couple of sizes too small. He's proudly displaying his trade paperback collection of Iron Man comic books. His Dungeons & Dragons t-shirt is emblazoned with a sword and shield, the mark of a man who surely must play the role of the Paladin! I'm secure in this belief as his mighty t-shirt has the appearance of a tunic thanks to the battle-worn, studded leather belt that's buckled around his waist over the t-shirt. I'm quite confident that should should a Red Dragon appear, our laundromat stronghold will be safe!!!